


like a diamond with no life

by moonjongup (nicrt)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Gen, Haunting, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:20:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27540688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicrt/pseuds/moonjongup
Summary: when chan closes his eyes, he'll be in the theatre again. the film will play and it'll be a different scene each time.it's like his own personal hell.but when chan opens his eyes, he wakes up knowing he won't be alone then. there'll be a chill across his lips, a gasp of air that feels like laughter.and he knows he'll be alright.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Unknown Character
Kudos: 3
Collections: STRAY KIDS MV FICFEST





	like a diamond with no life

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [SKZ MV FICFEST](https://twitter.com/skzmvfest)  
> Inspired by Stray Kids' Chronosaurus M/V
> 
> There's something melancholic about this MV and the way it's portrayed. The seats, the clocks, the way they're filmed. The song set the mood and the lyrics hit differently every time I read it. At the time of writing this, sorrow was all that I wanted to write about. It's gone through three different renditions - 1) simple film class one shot, 2) lucid dreaming, and 3) the current line of plotting I settled on. This is still an ongoing wip; there's so much still to explore about chan's journey in this story. The choices he decides to make. The consequences of it all.
> 
> So I hope, dear reader, you like what may come to be.
> 
> Special thanks to the Mod(s) for being amazing, for coming up with this event, and for being so freaking helpful with my requests and questions!!! They're so nice gais TwT

_**one year ago** _

when chan opened his eyes, he found himself alone.

which was nothing new. it’s been like that for awhile now. coming home to an empty apartment. making dinner or breakfast for one. going to bed, a queen size built for two, alone.

but he’s sure he’s dreaming now. and this was new. sleep has been eluding him for about as long as he has been alone. the last thing he'd ever expect to be able to do was fall asleep; let alone dream. 

chan blinked once. looked left then right, taking in his new surroundings. he remembered falling into bed. returning from another day of existence. ready for another night of insomnia. vaguely, he recalled staring at the old camcorder - a small retro-handheld that they'd pick out from an antique store once. it's the last thin he remembered seeing before he ended up here.

here. he’s in a movie theatre. a small one, maybe enough to fit about thirty people. the lights were on and they hurt his eyes with how glaringly bright they were. the seats around him were all empty. not another soul in sight. the large projection screen was void of anything too.

and then, a sound. a click of something, before it began whirring to life. a movie projector, his mind helpfully supplied. the old kind with large wheels of film installed, using lights, motors, and lenses in its mechanism. chan’s only seen those in - ironically - films. he turned in his seat to try and see exactly where this sound was coming from but almost immediately, the lights began to dim. the darkness engulfed him, like shadows creeping from the walls.

chan waited. might as well see where this dream was headed, right?

the projector continued to whir somewhere behind him, before a light began to flicker on. dust particles danced about in the air where the light hit. the glare of the projector’s lenses made chan look away. only for a moment.

a laugh. a familiar one, the kind that once made his heart soar and his face go numb with joy. the sound now fills his chest with a familiar ache - painful, dreadful, and all-consuming. he can feel the horror twist his expression, the way his eyes widened and his eyebrows furrowed. his breathing shallow. his lungs feel empty. there's lead in his stomach, bile in his throat.

he knew. chan knew who this was.

he laughed. and laughed again. spoke quietly, shyly, loudly, and lovely. the telltale sounds of kisses, sweet nothings across his lips, against his skin, by his ear; intimate moments once upon a time, now gone but never forgotten.

chan didn't dare look up. didn't dare look over.

for as long as the film rolled, chan kept his gaze away.

the next day greeted him the same way hangovers did: unapologetic, merciless, and painful.

but more than that, chan felt tired. more tired than he'd ever felt before. and that said a lot, considering he once had a streak of nights where his insomnia had dialed up to a hundred. that, was coupled with a frightening combination of caffeine, sugar, and stress to hold himself together during the days. and it'd been right before finals week too. 

he groaned and turned over, reaching out for his phone. it was clutched loosely in his grasp, still under his pillow while his face buried itself deeper into the covers. the world didn't exist as long as he was cocooned here. and maybe he was dreaming still, but he was sure he heard the fan blowing at him sigh. 

when he was finally brave enough to take a peek at the clock, chan shot straight out of bed, tripping over the sheets. he'd slept through five calls, eleven text messages, and three alarms. his shift was in one hour, all the way on the other side of campus; it's now 2 p.m.

he ran all around the apartment, flying here and there to get all that he needed. jumped into the shower, lathering and rinsing; snatch up his toothbrush, toothpaste already on the bristles. he was sure he forgot to grab his underwear, but lo and behold, there it was on the pile of freshly laundered clothes he'd picked out randomly from the hamper. food, he needed food now. the coffeemaker was already set so he pushed his thermos beneath the nozzle and filled it up. then he reached into the cabinets, scavenging for the first snack he could find; a proper breakfast was overrated anyways. two granola bars in his mouth later, he hurried to the front door.

keys. where were his goddamn-

a clink of metal and he spun around. there they were, on the coffee table.

_funny_ , chan thought as he scrambled out the door.

he was sure he left them elsewhere the night before.

the gate's left ajar. 

in chan's rush, he'd forgotten to lock it.

a breeze. shadows on the wall. a gentle push.

it swung and closed quietly.

the lock clicked into place.

_**one month ago** _

well, the film club's been busy.

chan was amused over this as he watched the kids - because they _were_ kids okay, and yes minho, that included you too - putter about. he didn't think he's ever seen the windows look so clear before. the floor seemed to shine. but they do and chan kinda felt proud about that. proud about how hard working and good-natured each of them were. even if they were trying to suffocate jeongin again with more hugs and kisses for doing a good job at cleaning; chan should probably stop that.

so he cleared his throat, loud enough to be heard over their squabbling. and in the midst of it all - jisung was being held in an endearing chokehold by minho, felix and hyunjin were hugging each other away from the chaos, changbin and seungmin were tugging at jeongin's arms - they each froze, as if finally realising that they weren't exactly alone anymore. chan found it hilarious at how they all turned to face him at the same time, instantaneous - like they were in a cartoon and everything had been scripted perfectly.

at their stares though, chan flushed. 

"uhm...," his lips lifted into an awkward smile, "hi?"

the reaction was immediate. and expected. the noise levels punctured beyond what was probably legal and they were probably polluting the air as such. but in all honesty, chan didn't care at the moment. didn't care that his life was getting squished out of him from how hard they were all hugging him. didn't care that they were getting his clothes wet with what was a combination of tears and snot (maybe saliva too but he won't mention it if jisung didn't). didn't care that his heart was clenching with a feeling so desperate, so loud, so agonising, that he wanted to wail along with them.

he was home. he was with the people he cared for the most.

that's all he cared for, now.

and if he noticed the number of shadows he saw on the floor as they all hugged, but spoke nothing of it...no one else had to know.

he meant what he said.

they were _all_ the people he cared about the most

**Author's Note:**

> and yes, the title is a parody of the line from chronosaurus: 'like a tunnel with no light'
> 
> i kept singing it wrong XD


End file.
